Blacked-eyed Mattys

I don't get black eyes easily.

When I was 9 or 10, I got hit square in the eye by a baseball thrown by an old-fashioned Iron Mike pitching machine. It probably came in only at 40 or 50 mph, but I didn't move at all ... until I was on the ground crying because I just got plunked in the eye.

One of my uncles kept telling me I would have a big "shiner" the next day, and I have to admit I was disappointed when it was hardly noticeable.

It wasn't noticeable when I punched myself in the eye this morning either.

I am not quite sure what I was doing, but I was in bed pulling something up toward my face, the sheet maybe. I lost my grip and my hand flew up, and I punched myself hard in the right eye. It really hurt, but the alarm was going off so I got up.

As if that wasn't enough eye-related annoyances for the day, about an hour later when I put on my shirt, my glasses flew off. Because I was blind I couldn't find them. I didn't want to move because I was sitting in a several-hundred pound wheelchair that would crush glasses. Finally, though, I had to move or just sit in my bathroom all day. I went and got my old glasses and found my new glasses that were uncrushed.

Then I went to work. And I was still a little disappointed that I did not get a black eye.

P.S. I was searching Google Images for a picture of a antique Iron Mike pitching machine. I couldn't find one, but on page 10 of the image search I did find a picture of a naked woman.