I feel God all around me. I know I am loved.
It isn’t enough.
Jesus says to ask and it shall be given you. He says that if you evil humans wouldn't give your child a serpent when he asks for a fish, think how much greater God will give good things to those who ask for them.
Leaving aside the fact that Jesus called humanity evil, I must have missed something. I ask to be healed; I am not healed. I ask not to get worse, I get worse.
So how am I praying wrong? Do I need to use some more four-letter words to get God's attention?
I had an incident at work that required I come home and shower (trust me, no one wants to know more). I called mom and she came right away to get me. I know Dad would have, too.
Are they just too good? Because in my view they sure put my alleged heavenly father to shame. And God allegedly has so much power, yet he can't spare me a drip.
And I know that someone will say my wonderful parents are the answer to my prayers, but they love me unconditionally, prayers have nothing to do with it.
God really pisses me off some days, but I know I am not alone in my anger.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
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October
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- Christine lives ... in my wheelchair
- A boy needs his mother
- Driven to drink
- Commute with romance
- Little much?
- Finally, I am cool
- 'Reaper" makes me feel better
- I think I need more bottled water
- A hard day and night
- No matter how much they do, it's never easy
- Thank goodness for Macs
- My legs are worse than jimmy's
- I really do like it hot
- Hakuna matata, well except ...
- More
- Ask and you shall receive. Yeah, right
- It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
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4 comments:
I can't begin to know what to say to you. I have to agree with you in many ways. I try to tell myself that everything evens out, that what goes around comes around, that there is some way there is God here in this mess. But if I can't convince myself, how could I ever convince you. All I can promise with assurance is that I love you and so do lots of other people and that is going to have to be enough for the moment. I really do love you. and re: your last blog, Christmas songs out of season can make me cry.
mtc
what she said. I feel like there is a big piece of information missing and that Jesus made a terrible, terrible mistake going back to heaven after Easter and leaving us to do this on our own. Our mother says we aren't going it alone -- something about the Holy Spirit.... I try to think of the title of that painting I brought to F.Ch. (from a poem by Adam Zagajewski): Try to praise the mutilated world. What else is there to do?
Love,
JTG
P.S. When I was with Gram last year at the hospital in her last days, she wanted to sing. I asked her what we should sing and she said, "Christmas songs." So we did.
I am not a Satanist, but I have really read the bible.
Lucifer was not cast out simply for refusingn to bow to his brother Yawa. He was cast out for loving humanity to the point that he called his brother to task for abandoning lost souls to wander the earth.
Purgatory, (aka hell) was formed as a place where souls could repent and gain redemption after death.
Sorry, something you said reminded me of that.
I'm not religious by any book, but do believe in a "God" and your just being a bitch! If God made sure nothing bad ever happened to anyone or helped u in every bad or embarrassing situation, you would never be self sufficient, u would never know how to help yourself, u would never know how gray those parents of yours are because they would never have to be there for you. God works in mysterious ways and sometimes life does get so bad, it's hard too believe there is someone watching over us or answering our prayers. But God not interfering all the time is God answering our prayers. Without knowing and feeling pain, one could never understand how great the feeling of good actually is. Stop looking to God for all the answers, to make everything better..... Help yourself. God is there and every morning you wake up, he has already done something setup amazing for us all, we should never complain. God has a master plan and ever though it comes with hard times and pain, there IS a reason for it ALL. God is watching and he loves us all dearly.
Trust me. I just wrote all that. And the reason I even stumbled across this blog is because I typed "yeah right. God help me" into Google search.... .
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