Sunday, March 23, 2008

ZZ Top: Artists of adaption

When I was 14, I bought ZZ Top's "Afterburner."

It was not that great an album: no "Legs," no "Sharp-Dressed Man." But
one of its tacky little tunes pops into my head on a regular basis these days: "Velcro Fly."

Well, it feels so right when you squeezed it tight,
when you reach the end do it over again.
I say yeah yeah.
I say yeah yeah.
There ain't never a catch, all you got to do is snatch,
do the velcro fly,
do the velcro fly.

The bearded boys no doubt had something tawdry in mind when they sang that. I'm not thinking cheap thrills, though; I am thinking about pajama pants and modesty.

I can't do the button fly on my pj bottom. Well, that's not entirely true. I could do it, but would never get it undone when I needed to use the bathroom.

I just leave the fly open and trust my wheelchair seatbelt to prevent any exposure. I also figure: Who the heck is going to stare at my crotch?

If I had a velcro fly, though, I could do and undo my fly to my heart's content. Or my bladder's.

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