Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I need to be worried about

My sister-in-law is sick, and I am not happy about it.

I like when my family can mainly worry about me. God knows, I give them enough fuel.

Despite my physical problems and enormous load of emotional issues, I suspect I can survive. I can fall and laugh thinking about how it will freak my family out to tell them. And if I do die, why the hell should I care about that? I'll be dead.

But when somebody else is sick or in some kind of distress, I am robbed of the certainty that my family's worries are nothing to worry about.

Now I admit that it is a bit cocky to assert that under normal circumstances I am the one my family worries about, but it's kind of true. Even when things are unusual, I am screwed up enough that people worry about me worrying about the other issue. In fact I just got a call from a sister asking if I was all right.

I am rotten, I told her. I am sad, scared, worried and mad. I am listening to Handel's Messiah and about "the good tidings to Zion," and my brother's wife is on a ventilator.

She needs to get better and fast. Falling is less funny when people have other, legitimate worries.


Anonymous said...

Hold your ground, hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you *stand, Men of the West!*

Just a thought.

Matt said...

I actually don't love that speech. It was only in the movie and I resent the idea that Aragorn needed an Agincourt speech to be cool. He is the bee's knees no matter what. And earlier at the battle for Minas Tirith, I was sad the movie rewrote the stirring speech from Theoden before the Rohirrim rode in, right before he seized the horn from Guthlaf -- involving "fell deeds awake, fire and slaughter" -- and there is the quote about the Rohirrim that "they sang as they slew for the joy of battle was upon them" And then when the battle gets depressing they just start shouting "death!"

And yes I am a geek.

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