Sunday, June 28, 2009

Too tired to file for disability

Soon after I moved back to Northern Virginia 10 years ago, I began to see a counselor. I was unhappy.

I suspect the real reason is that moving back did not solve all of my problems. I had also begun to use a chair full time, which may have had something to do with it.

Among her suggestions to improve my mood was to declare full-time disability (She unfortunately did not offer to procure me a woman.)

She said she thought it would be a way for me to do things I was too tired to do: writing, meeting people, etc.

After shuddering at the thought, I told her I couldn't afford to and that I would go crazy if I was home every day.

Both are still true today. Even with Claren, I can't imagine not having a job and interacting with people there. The money situation remains the same, too. I couldn't cut out my comic fix.

Bur every so often, I do think again about getting on disability.

When we were looking into getting a grant for the new house, my sister called some Friedreich's ataxia group. The woman was surprised that my sister had a brother with FA working full time. She also said that would more or less rule us out for grants.

My mom is on a e-mail listserv for parents of FA patients. Few of the parents, it seems, have kids that work.

I could finally catch up on my sleep. I could sit on a couch, a lounge chair, a chaise lounge or something more than I sit in my uncomfortable wheelchair. I could play with Claren as much as she wants (OK, I couldn't do that unless I devoted all waking hours to her, but I could play with her more.) Human interaction is overrated anyway.

But I know that my FA is not real bad on the FA scale of crappy to life-threatening, maybe just a few notches above crappy. And everyone is tired. Plus, if I didn't work, who would I complain to? My family is not sympathetic anymore. And my comics!

Plus, think of all the paperwork I'd have to file.

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