Tuesday, August 25, 2009

My dreams are trying to kill me

If you really die when you die in your dream, does that mean that doing a really stupid thing in a dream is like suicide?

I dreamed I was in a Best Buy that for some reason sold outer clothes on the first floor. I knew I couldn't go up the stairs, though I wasn't in my chair. I was just kind of milling around when this guy put both of his hands on my shoulders and said something in a foreign accent. I didn't know what he said so I just looked at him and smiled.

As I was leaving, I saw him watching me and I remember thinking I should be careful. But before I was even out of the store, he walked up right behind me and said, "You better stay close." And he walked me out of the store.

I told him I'd give him my money, but he said he wanted my credit cards, too. I'll be honest: This pissed me off. I mean I'd be canceling the cards as soon he left so they'd be worthless. Even more annoying, though, if something did happen, it could screw up my credit report. I remember thinking snafus on my credit report would be OK because we have finally bought the land for our new home, but ...

The credit cards were the deal breaker. I started daring him to kill me, end my misery and put himself on death row (My dream self is not very liberal). He responded by knocking me out.

When I woke up, with my credit cards and cash, I called the cops. There were like 10 or so for a simple mugging. Two were talking to me, saying the guy might come back when sure enough he did. They caught him. I remember one of them chasing him down.

The moral of this story: My dream self is a badass who is not to be messed with.

Mom almost ruined this story by saying she never heard of dying from dying in your dreams, but I decided if Springsteen uses it, that is good enough for me.

5 comments:

Patrick said...

Can't sleep, clown'll eat me!

Anonymous said...

you have THE MOST VIVID DREAMS I have ever heard of. Weird ones too. I just remember that I wake up worried about work or pissed off at someone. You are a badass.
mtc

Anonymous said...

I dreamt about the Falcon last night.
JTG

Matt said...

Patrick, very nice Simpsons reference.

Yes, they are weird, and how do you know it was a dream if you wake up worried about work or pissed off? I am those without dreaming?

And WHAT Falcon? Blue Falcon and Dynomutt? The Falcon (Black Falcon, Sam Wilson, friend of Captain America)? The Millennium Falcon? Oh, the Ford Falcon convertible, I suspect.

Anonymous said...

It was the Ford Falcon, but we can make a case that I was really dreaming about Harrison FORD in the Millennium FALCON.


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