Thursday, November 25, 2010

I know what I'm not thankful for

I fell this morning. And that is why Thanksgiving is such a hard day for me.

I know that I should be thankful that the fall was not painful, just really loud. I sat on the toilet and my feet slipped so I slid off the toilet. Then I whacked my face on the wall or grab bar or something. But I was still holding a grab bar so I did not fall to the ground.

I should be thankful that Mom heard even though she doesn't hear well or that she just asked if I needed help. I don't like when people just help, especially because it is often not helpful. I knew I just needed to get my legs under me to be OK. I had plenty of grab bars and poles nearby. I did not need help and I guess I should be thankful for that, too.

I should be thankful that Dad, my sister or brother-in-law would have come to help me if I needed it. (I am not too sure about my brother-in-law: The other day he was talking about electrifying the walls of the new house so I would get a shock if I bumped a wall.)

I should be thankful for all my nieces and nephews who treat their uncle with zero respect but ridiculous amounts of love ...

... Or family and friends who call or email or text or IM or read my writings so faithfully and let me know I am loved and cared for.

I should, I know, but it is so hard to be thankful when you are dealing with such a crappy, crappy disability.

6 comments:

Wolfie said...

Sorry that you fell, Matt. Enjoy the rest of your Thanksgiving and spending time with your family. I will pat my horse, Gem, for you. :-)

Matt Trott said...

Thanks.

adiaryofamom said...

i hear you, loud and clear.

not that you asked, but my advice, for what it's worth -- forget the 'shoulds' - there's nothing wrong with being exactly where you are at a given moment. and sometimes the moment just sucks.

i hope you got the crispy edge of the stuffing.

Matt Trott said...

Thanks, I know I am far from alone. I'm OK with sucky moments. I dislike how I tend to let them overwhelm the good stuff.
Dinner rocked!

M.G.H. said...

Sending a big hug to you, Matt!

Matt Trott said...

Thanks. That helps!

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