Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Slip sliding away

As happens every so often, I slid as I was getting out of bed, missed my chair and wound up crouched down between my bed and my chair. I wasn't hurt at all, but I was a bit stuck.

Maybe it happens because the bed is too high and my feet slide along the floor instead of gripping something. Maybe it is because the bed is too narrow to accommodate my momentum as I roll out of bed. Or maybe it is because I have fucking Friedreich's ataxia.

Anyway I was stuck. Even with Dad's help, it took like five minutes to get up and into my chair. Then came the hard part. I had no energy to do anything. All I wanted to do was slump down in my chair.

I forced myself to go to the bathroom (I am not stupid. I knew that was urgent). Then I could not bear the idea of transferring to the shower chair so I made myself shave. I don't have a big face, so that did not take long enough. Plus, I banged one of my knees on a pipe under the sink.

I managed finally to shower, without incident, and went to work.

I am just so weary. I don't think it is depression. I think I am just tired of having FA, of having to expend so much energy to get through the day.

Or maybe it was just a bad morning.

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