Wednesday, October 5, 2011

No days without an accident

I must be getting comfortable in the new house: Last night I sat on the couch to watch Glee and Reservoir Dogs and this morning I did something stupid and fell.

Our floors are wood -- ash if you are wondering. Every morning I put on my shoes tightly so I don't slide getting out of bed.

But this morning, I didn't tighten the laces and one of my shoes fell off while I was still in bed. No problem, I thought, I'll just grab it again.

Then the part of me that is trying to get me killed spoke up.

You can easily get out of bed, dude, it said. It used "dude" to put me at easy and make me think it was cool.

It then reminded me that the transfers in the bathroom on the no-slip tile are going smoothly. What could happen on the wood floors?

Turns out that ash is really, freaking slippery. I eventually got off the floor by putting my other shoe back on.

To make matters worse, this was the first morning my sister did not get up to oversee my feeding of Claren.

In other news:

  • We did move into the new house, hence my silence. Tired, no Internet, then Glee and Reservoir Dogs are my excuses. The house is a work in progress but awesome.
  • You know what really pisses me off, besides bloggers with life-threatening conditions who stop writing with no word of warnings? Gentlemen who urinate standing up in the wheelchair stall but do not feel the need to either raise the seat or clean their pee off the seat. Special place in hell, guys.
  • Speaking of special places in hell, I got to my subway stop and got to the elevator as seven walkers packed in. One woman, bless her heart, got off for me. The other jackasses just squeezed a bit to make a tiny bit of room for me. Assholes!
  • And finally, a woman came running out of a restaurant as Claren and I walked to the subway and was like, Can I take a picture of your dog? 


Anonymous said...

Are ther pictures for the other blog of moving day? And of you and the goofs frolicking in the family room? Come on, give thebpeoplenwhat they want!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Ummm..."Bless her heart?" I trust that was sarcasm!

Anonymous said...

I don't let people in the elevators get away with it. Say something like "it would be nice if I could walk and not be mushed in the elevator because all of you are lazy!"

Ellen said...

I don't get the elevator thing. When I have used the Metro elevators (because of a baby stroller) I have found them to be innconveniently placed, dark, and smelly. I can't imagine prefering it. Like standing on a moving escalator is so taxing for them? How freaking lazy.

Ellen said...

Oh, and what Judy said. (My verification word is 'comply'. Take it as a sign.)

Matt Trott said...

I don't have any house photos yet. I will do that tomorrow maybe. But I think the people want me!

Actually, I was not being sarcastic. I was glad at least one person is not a jerk,

Yeah, that's little mean.

The elevators are rotten and smelly. I would never use them if I didn't need to.

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