Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Properly equipped, but I too have penis envy

I was watching a rerun of The Big Bang Theory, and in it Amy (she'll always be Blossom to me)  asks Penny if she believes in penis envy. As Penny hems and haws, Amy admits she'd like a penis. She hastens to say that she wants a penis for convenience, adding "You can't deny that, by comparison, our internal plumbing is extremely high maintenance."

I have zero experience with the internal plumbing of the ladies, but as I understand it, they sit down to relieve themselves. I should, too.

Should, of course, is the operative word.

But it takes so much longer. Double the standing time, I timed it.

And it isn't really that much safer. Sure, my legs won't buckle, causing me to fall midstream if I am sitting. So from a laundry standpoint, sitting is better.

But I have to transfer to the toilet and then back to the chair. Those can be tricky transfers. They have foiled me more than once, usually on the return to the chair.

I guess I really have balance-envy, but who's heard of that? Is that really even a thing?

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