Saturday, December 28, 2013

I'm no Moon Knight

In Moon Knight #35 from 1984, Moon Knight fights the Fly. He loses ... badly, and winds up in a wheelchair.

While in the chair, one of his alter egos sponsors ballet performances, which brings him into contact with a crazy mutant who is killing members of the troupe. She kills the male lead while Moon Knight as Steven Grant is watching.

When the baddie enters, MK as SG says to his girlfriend something like "You cover me, Marlene, and I'll ... " Then he remembers he is in a chair and says "... sit here helpless."*

I was thinking about this awesome comic on my trike ride today because at the beginning of the ride I too got to sit helpless and watch a little girl lose control of her scooter and crash.

It was where the bike trail splits near Broad Street. She was on the bridge trail. I was on the lower trail just turning around.

No one else saw her and I was trying to figure out how to turn around and get to her. And then what I had no idea. Fortunately, the mom came into view then, and it turned out to be someone I know.

The girl was OK, so I guess it turned out all right except that feeling of helplessness that doesn't go away. If I were Moon Knight, I could will myself out of my chair (a scene that still gives me shivers even though it doesn't work that way for normal people, just avatars of Egyptian god Khonshu. Hmmm, maybe I need to change religions)

* I paraphrased the comic because while I could find it in five minutes if the comic boxes were accessible, no one else could. It's in the comics I reread a lot box along with the reboots of Green Arrow, Green Lantern, Daredevil, etc.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Good with a side of crappy

Christmas, as always, brings awesomeness and more than a little crappy:

Probably Claren's last church visit was Tuesday, not that she is dying but you can't bring retired dogs to church. That made me feel bad, but if I think like that, she'll have a lot of lasts.

She, of course, entranced nearby kids at church. One just laid down a few feet away and stared at her.

The kids I live with were also entranced, not by Claren but by Christmas. Fun to be around that. I think their parents get caught up, too, in making everything perfect for their kids, which makes me sad that I don't have that.

Mass was also totally unintelligible. In crowds, a low-level buzz accompanies everything, and while I can hear people talking, understanding the words is impossible. Usually, if they are sequences I have known since childhood, I can follow them. The Church, though, changed a bunch of prayers a few years ago, as far as I can tell, to make us all believe that we are all sinful jerks. The upshot is I get lost.

Christmas was fun, but it reminds me of my many problems -- I wasn't asked to try my luck at Basket Case. And let's be clear: that was probably a good thing because if I was, I'd probably be pointing out how I felt bad having failed at Basket Case.

And through it all, I am so tired.

Friday, December 20, 2013

What's next?

Good news, the lung nodules are nothing to worry about.

I had a test today to compare the nodules to six months ago to see if they had grown. I was a little disappointed because they said the results weren't due till next week. i was actually more worried after I had the test but not the results.

So I called my awesome doctor and left her a message explaining the situation.

And at the end of the day, she called back to say the nodules were unchanged and because they were so small and because I am a low risk for lung cancer, we don't have to follow them anymore.  Yeah.

Now I can worry about whether to get Botox. Really.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Saving my dignity

I am writing this even though I am pretty sure my sister will never talk to me again. I have two other sisters, though.

I love my brother-in-law. I know he would do anything for me. I am equally sure he'd make fun of whatever embarrassing situation needed his help. But not until it was taken care of.

But I just could not ask him to help me change my clothes after a regrettable incident.

Instead, I asked him to bring me some clean clothes and changed myself.

It took a lot longer, but I maintained my dignity -- well at least as much as a 42-year-old wearing superhero sleeping pants ever has.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Day grinder

When I was at the dentist the other day, the hygienist suggested I get a mouth-guard because she could see I grind my teeth. And I fully admit it. I am, as the dentist later said, a "grinder."

The thing is while I know I grind my teeth,  I am 100% sure night is not the problem.

I grind my teeth when I fell or when I bang my foot into my chair.

I grind my teeth when works goes poorly or when my computer fails.

I grind my teeth when I think about Friday when I have a scan to see if the nodules on my lungs are anything.

Night might be the one time my jaw relaxes.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

All I want for Christmas is toys

It seems as though Christmas is tomorrow and that I am late. I realize I am not really. The Superhero Nativity is never late.

I finally have everybody to choose from (mostly, one more box), so gathering the visitors was like Christmas. The Big Three return, as do Santa and the Humble-Bumble and Yukon Cornelius. The others, from the right:

We start with Buffy, making a triumphant return to the nativity. She, of course, will be valuable in fighting the forces of evil Jesus is destined to face, like those jackass money changers. She also represents the parable of Lost Sheep. She was lost for years, but I never gave up and bought another. I kept looking, meaning every so often I asked Mom if she had seen a bunch of action figures. Finally, it paid off. She also represents the kind of partnership that we all need in life. I lost her stand, but all was not lost. She fits well on an unused Speed Racer stand.

Freakenstein the Gorgonite from Small Soldiers is next. He can portray any needed animals, I am sure. Plus, the Gorgonites' noted pacifism fits in with the Christmas message.

As opposed to our next figure, Alien Spawn. I don't follow Spawn but am quite confident he is not peaceful. I realize that judging Spawn to be violent by his looks is the very prejudice the Gorgonites faced, but I am sticking to my judgment.

Pops Racer will be there the manger breaks or there are other needed repairs. Joseph could repair them sure, but he is probably busy. Plus, Pops can do wondrous stuff.

I am not sure the Humble-Bumble and Yukon Cornelius will be regulars, but I just noticed they were in last year, so ...

Kid Flash is one of my more valuable figures. Or he would be if he had his own boots (he is wearing Batgirl's boots) and if the main game we used to play with his type of figure was not sliding them down fishing line from a second floor window and trying to knock them off the line into a bucket of mud. As it is, he is just a nice reminder of youth and our friend Robert, the true owner of Kid Flash.

Finally, Darth Maul. His light saber will provide light in the manger, but really he made the cut to allow me to take a stand: The Star Wars prequels don't hold a candle to the originals -- bad dialogue, creepy romance (I never got over Padme meeting Anakin as a little boy), Jar-Jar, Hayden Christensen. But you also get pod races, Darth Maul, Yoda fighting, awesome light saber fights, the battles involving Clone Troopers. They're fun.

Not as much fun as Superhero Nativities ...

Here are the ones from 2007,  2008200920102011 and 2012. These posts also have some background. And God must be amused by this because I have not been struck down yet.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Braced for failure

I got some new braces today. They are big honking things that look like Robert Griffin III should be wearing them, not a wheelchair user who doesn't walk.

I think I am the most hopeful about them; no one else seems to think they'll work.

My therapist recommended them, although she was clear to tell me not to get them unless they felt right. My ankles are flexible enough ... now, she says. The problem becomes if I do nothing, and my foot becomes more entrenched in the "drop foot" angle, an angle closer to 180 degrees at the ankle, rather than 90. By getting braces now, I can stretch my ankle and put off problems.

But they don't feel right -- that's why I asked for a test period before buying.

The front of my foot tended to slide out of the brace when we tried it. I think, though, I need to see whether it happens when I am lying down. We'll see tonight. It sure feels odd to be the most optimistic about them.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Good torture

When I was leaving work today for physical therapy, one of my co-workers wished me luck at the "torture session."

I love PT, and my therapist is awesome. But that doesn't mean a few of the Geneva Conventions weren't broken.

We started off OK, just some stretching. Then I was supposed to lift my legs up and down and out and in. I was OK on the horizontal but the vertical killed me. My legs did not want to do it.

It got worse. I was supposed to be pulling my toes up but I was not having much luck, especially with my right foot. Unless I spasmed and jerked my leg all over, I couldn't do it reliably.

I'm going to get some stims, she says, referring to electric stimulants. My crappy legs do not feel much, so she had to really crank the power to get them to work. It sort of worked, not great. It wasn't the deus ex machina I am looking for.

Next, we did bridges, which for some odd reason I have really improved at. She still has to sit on my legs, but I no longer almost push her over backward.

Finally, she was working on my balance. She had me sit on the edge of the mat and hold this piece of tape in both hands over my head and then stick the tape in this mirror right in front of me. If you are confused about the logistics of this, that's OK. The only important thing to know is that it was really hard and when I was finally about to get the tape on the mirror, she moved the mirror. Really!

It was like doing therapy with my little sister. It's that fun, too.

Monday, December 2, 2013

My rock

Claren may be old and tired, but she is still awesome.

She was on my bed today, and I sat down to do a balance exercise where I just sit up straight with no back rest. I of course, need to hold on to my super pole to not fall.

Or I did until Claren moved to put her big old butt right in my back, giving me the support I needed to sit with no hands.

She didn't even move when I fell over on her.

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