Sunday, October 14, 2007

A hard day and night

I am overwhelmed.

I can think of tons of reasons why.

The seasons are changing, and somewhere my brain is realizing that I won't be raking or jumping in leaves -- not that I liked raking that much but ... -- or that I won't be enjoying brisk autumn walks -- I needed my hat and gloves last night.

It's getting darker earlier and that always hurts.

I am worried that my legs are losing strength. I have an appointment but it isn't till Nov. 6.

There are others, too, but naming them does not make me feel a bit better. I still feel like my head is so full it may explode. It probably won't, but it feels that way.

5 comments:

Gabe said...

You remind me of Christy Brown of the movie "My left foot" fame. Also, I must say, the wheelchair on a tightrope is a very imaginative piece of art. Great!!

Anonymous said...

You will come over when we rake leaves and I have no doubt that JD and KD will devise some way to get Uncle Matt covered in leaves. You are loved loved loved.
xo
ejd

Anonymous said...

Hey
I am familiar with the exploding head lifestyle, also the gaping chest wound lifestyle. Neither is fun and despite current experience I'd offer that neither is permanent. As far as the dark, remember that silly poem about hearing a bird sing in the dark of december and being nearer to spring than we were in november. Pretty much one of the things that got me through grad school (that and talking with you!) As for the leaves, I have this delusional memory of raking paths in the leaves of gram's sideyard and playing some kind of tag game, but I don't have an actual memory of it. I think we (as in people not our family) are trained to have these images of certain seasons and certain experiences. Just because our experience of these things is different, our experiences are not invalid. So yes, it will be dark and cold for you and Claren, but maybe you'll get to see a constellation or two, maybe a shooting star. And we will see you so soon and we can hardly wait.
love, love, love,
mtc

Matt said...

My left foot was itching like crazy this morning; coincidence? Thanks.

And I know I am loved. Does it make me a jerk that I want more than just that knowledge sometimes?

And we did make paths with leaves!

Anonymous said...

It does not make you a jerk. It makes you a human.
mtc


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