Sunday, August 24, 2008

How to get clean

I spent most of this morning trying to figure out how to get clean without having to get out of my chair or expend any energy.

Calvin once suggested a vacuum cleaner, but I don't think that would do much for the stinky, dirty feeling. It also would not be the answer for removing dead skin cells.

Garrison Keillor recently wrote an essay about being bathed. This had some appeal, but I'd still have to get out of my chair and out of my clothes. Plus, I might kick my bather and she would also be rendered into a quivering pile of jelly by the cut of my jib.

So I went to shower. What could happen, I reasoned.

Famous last words. I fell getting into the shower. Well, no, not really. I do not consider it a fall unless I lose my grip on whatever I am holding. I never did. I just missed the shower chair, wound up on the floor of the shower and had to call upon my herculean reserves to get into place, then spent a few minutes catching my breath.

I may need to take a second look at the vacuum cleaner idea.


P.S. And later, in the same bathroom, I broke the controller off my wheelchair.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

godsdammit
jtg

Matt said...

You better believe it. God is on my list. And so are mean people.

The chair needs a part that had to be ordered so I should get it Tuesday or Wednesday.

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