Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Not funny, but worth a laugh

If I am ever alone and start to choke on a pretzel, I now know a way to Heimlich myself without standing up.

I just bang my chest down on to my upper legs and knees: It worked last night.

I wasn't exactly choking ... well not to death anyway ... probably. I was just trying to swallow the nightly cracker I eat with my antidepressants and throw away a napkin.

Apparently, I am Ill-suited for multitasking that does not involve a computer, because I started coughing, doubled over on my knees, coughed and spit out a bit of rice cracker.

Then, because I was bent over and still holding the napkin, I decided to pick up the thing that was once know as a cracker. But I started to feel like I might throw up or fall out of my chair so I just dropped the napkin on the cracker thing, snickered at Mom who was witnessing the whole incident and sat up.

Mom then threw it away.

It wasn't that funny. Neither are the many falls that leave me lying flat on the floor or the times I have run my wheelchair off ramps.

Still, I laugh. Partly, I guess, it is relief or a a nervous response -- "Holy crap, dude, you almost died."

What is a better option?

Silent reflection so I could relive almost dying? Maybe a "holy shit" seriousness? But that would be so tiring as I go through these events on a regular basis. So would taking these things seriously; that would be a little depressing, too. I guess I could cry but then I would run out of tears and no doubt die of a lacrimose deficiency.

Plus, sometimes it is pretty damn funny that a 37-year-old is lying on the floor and can't get right up. Maybe not funny ha-ha, but it is an awfully gawky picture.

I think I will stick with laughing, but I know that it is not that funny.

2 comments:

kibuki said...

Laughter is a tonic, a powerful ju ju medicine. It did as much to keep your Grandmother thriving for 94 years as her grand assortment of pills. Although you may be the only one laughing, we understand.

Matt said...

The very thought and image of Gram laughing away at something makes me smile.

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