Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Just let me marry Michael Chabon and that's all

I read an article this morning about some woman who had written a book called "Bad Mother." Apparently, Ayelet Waldman got that name after admitting in The New York Times that she loved her husband more than her kids.

I was a little wary of her right there until I saw that she was married to Michael Chabon. Truth be told, I think if I were married to Michael Chabon I'd love him more than my kids. Come on, this is Michael Chabon. Kavalier & Klay, Summerland, Escapist comics, not to mention a Simpsons appearance. He is a catch, Ayelet, and I like gals.

Unfortunately, that is not the whole story. A chapter details her decision to have an abortion, "to end his life, she wrote in Salon, after a genetic test revealed a bad problem.

I hate genetics.

Because of genetics, I guess I can prove to people that I am really disabled, that I am not living a huge con game for the perks: parking, service dog, babes (two out of three).

But genetics has not figured out how to cure or even treat me even though Freidriech's ataxia has been the "hot" disease for years now, according to one of my neurologists. Genetics has not cured cancer, either. The cold is still around, too.

Genetics or medical fundraisers say, "We are this close!" or "We have come so far!" Maybe get back to me when you start curing stuff instead of just determining why things happen.

But no. Genetics just discovered a problem with this "baby" (she calls him that), and left her with no good choice, certainly no easy one.

In the story I read, the writer mentions a doctor who had a mentally retarded son and told Waldman that she loves her son "desperately." But the doctor said her son would not be around if the doctor had to do it again.

I cannot begin to comprehend the hardship involved with being severely disabled, mentally or physically. I whine a lot, but I know I am pretty lucky all in all.

But I cannot believe that the retarded son would prefer to not exist. I wouldn't.

I may go to bed dreaming of being married to Michael Chabon, just to avoid thinking about genetic testing, abortion, disability, not existing, etc.


Holly said...

I read the same articles, and it really bugged me too. I do not understand the mother who said she loves her son but would have abort him if she could do it all over again. It scares me as the mom of a child with disabilities that this eugenic abortion concept is seeming to gain momentum. How is this not seen as bigoted? Why is this acceptable? I don't get it! I really don't!

Matt Trott said...

Yeah, I don't know ... Everyone wishes for a child who is a great athlete, a brilliant thinker, a charismatic hero who is happy. But rarely do you get that. And what is acceptable not to accept?

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