Saturday, March 20, 2010

Home alone -- wheelchair edition

Some people will no doubt see the following story as proof I I should never be left alone but I prefer to see it as evidence of the opposite: that I can survive just about any crazy crap Friedreich's ataxia throws at me.

I got up at 6 to feed Claren, something I do rarely these days because Dad feeds her in the morning since he is up. But Mom and Dad are away this weekend. I went to the bathroom and was going to put on the pants that have been in there for weeks. They were gone.

I knew Claren needed to pee so I just put my parka over my legs and nakedness and took her out. I fed her, then went and got my pants from my clothes shelf.

I went to the end of the dining room to pull on the pants where there was a little more room, but as I bent over to put on the pants, I hooked my wheelchair joystick and started heading into the bureau.

Somehow, I managed to sit up and stop the wheelchair before I hit anything unmovable, but then as I leaned forward again, I kept moving forward and down. I just had time to notice that my seatbelt had become unbuckled and to think: Oh, crap.

If only there were an Olympic medal for tumbling out of chairs, this would have won the gold. It was also a little X-rated as I still had no pants on. I banged the back of my head into the bureau and ended up seated against it with my pants in my lap.

I quickly put them on, thinking that if I needed to call for help, I wanted to be dressed. Then I started thinking:I did not have my shoes so I had pretty much decided to call my little sister for help.

Another fall, though, changed my plans.

I was just sort of sitting there more or less, still thinking, and I just fell over sideways, smacking my forehead flat on the floor and sending my glasses skittering somewhere.

After checking to see whether I was bleeding -- I was not -- I realized that now I was mostly blind and really needed help.

At that moment, Claren earned her stars.

She came over and I told her to get it, and she found and brought me my glasses. Then on a lark I asked her to get my shoes. She wandered over to the bed where my shoes were and brought ... my hand cream. I asked her to get my shoes again and this time she brought ... a dirty sock and then the other one.

She seemed to have her fill of retrieving by then and just started playing with me. I asked her to get my shoes one last time, and she did! She got one and then the other.

I could not call for help now after that impressive help so I got up and took the Wonder Dog out to poop.

2 comments:

jess said...

truth be told, it doesn't sound to me like you were alone at all .. and claren rocks.

Matt Trott said...

I did have my good buddy Claren, who does rock so hard.

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