Saturday, March 20, 2010

Home alone -- wheelchair edition

Some people will no doubt see the following story as proof I I should never be left alone but I prefer to see it as evidence of the opposite: that I can survive just about any crazy crap Friedreich's ataxia throws at me.

I got up at 6 to feed Claren, something I do rarely these days because Dad feeds her in the morning since he is up. But Mom and Dad are away this weekend. I went to the bathroom and was going to put on the pants that have been in there for weeks. They were gone.

I knew Claren needed to pee so I just put my parka over my legs and nakedness and took her out. I fed her, then went and got my pants from my clothes shelf.

I went to the end of the dining room to pull on the pants where there was a little more room, but as I bent over to put on the pants, I hooked my wheelchair joystick and started heading into the bureau.

Somehow, I managed to sit up and stop the wheelchair before I hit anything unmovable, but then as I leaned forward again, I kept moving forward and down. I just had time to notice that my seatbelt had become unbuckled and to think: Oh, crap.

If only there were an Olympic medal for tumbling out of chairs, this would have won the gold. It was also a little X-rated as I still had no pants on. I banged the back of my head into the bureau and ended up seated against it with my pants in my lap.

I quickly put them on, thinking that if I needed to call for help, I wanted to be dressed. Then I started thinking:I did not have my shoes so I had pretty much decided to call my little sister for help.

Another fall, though, changed my plans.

I was just sort of sitting there more or less, still thinking, and I just fell over sideways, smacking my forehead flat on the floor and sending my glasses skittering somewhere.

After checking to see whether I was bleeding -- I was not -- I realized that now I was mostly blind and really needed help.

At that moment, Claren earned her stars.

She came over and I told her to get it, and she found and brought me my glasses. Then on a lark I asked her to get my shoes. She wandered over to the bed where my shoes were and brought ... my hand cream. I asked her to get my shoes again and this time she brought ... a dirty sock and then the other one.

She seemed to have her fill of retrieving by then and just started playing with me. I asked her to get my shoes one last time, and she did! She got one and then the other.

I could not call for help now after that impressive help so I got up and took the Wonder Dog out to poop.


jess said...

truth be told, it doesn't sound to me like you were alone at all .. and claren rocks.

Matt Trott said...

I did have my good buddy Claren, who does rock so hard.

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