Sunday, March 28, 2010

Nope, I don't buy it

Mom compared me to Satan the other night when I was sick. For real.

Maybe it was some new age-y, reverse -therapy type of medical technique for use on the sick. It didn't work.

I merely asked her why God would say such things as angels will keep us from catching our foot against a stone when it does not happen.

I asked this because I was rubbing my face and it hurt pretty badly and I remembered that as I was transferring I coughed, which caused my head to slam into the metal of the wheelchair arm. The middle of my forehead looked bad, but the left side of my upper face was just one big bruise.

Given then that no angels bore me up, what's up with that saying?

Mom pointed out the devil asks Jesus the same question during the temptation in the desert. He doesn't exactly. The devil suggests Jesus throw himseld off a parapet to test God, which Jesus declines.

Mine was not a test, though. It would be like if Jesus were walking through the desert and just flat out fell, and the devil said: "Whoa, dude, what's with that? Where are the angels?"

I have learned, though, that God never claimed that he would send angels to protect us from tripping. It was just a psalmist.

No doubt, the psalmist did not have Friedreich's ataxia.


Anonymous said...

mom tag

I think the "whoa, what's up with that? no angels?" happens this Friday on the cross. "Dude, save us and yourself." Jesus keeps pretty quiet then too.

Anonymous said...

Also, I thought of the line from Jesus Christ Superstar where Jesus says, "You're far too keen on where and how and not so hot on why."

Matt Trott said...

Don't go "Jesus Christ Superstar" on me. I can quote most of it, including the part where Judas helpfully points out to Jesus: "If you'd come today you could have reached a whole nation; Israel in 4 BC had no mass communication."

I suspect there is a long part of the temptation in the desert that is left out of the Bible. It went something like this:
Satan: For it is written that He has given his angels charge over you that they keep you. And that in their hands they shall bear you up, lest perhaps you dash your foot against a stone
Jesus: Um, Guy? That was written by a psalmist, you know, a song writer. They are the same folks who in 2,000 years will be saying you went to Georgia looking for a soul to steal. And you do not play fiddle.
Satan: I could play fiddle.
Jesus: Nope.
Satan: Could too. [And he snaps his fingers and a fiddle case appears.
The Devil opened up his case and he said, "I'll start this show."
And fire flew from his fingertips as he rosined up his bow.
And he pulled the bow across his strings and it made an evil hiss.
Then Jesus winks at the fiddle and all the strings snap.]
Satan: God!
Jesus: Yes? [Chuckles.]
Satan: You are such a nerd.
Jesus: At least I did not try to overthrow my God.
Satan: Look, it was a case of mistaken identity. I thought that prankster Raphael was playing me by dressing up as God. How many times must I say that? God!
Jesus: Yes?
Satan: Ugh. Shut it. Now about throwing yourself off the parapet.
Jesus: Look, don't trust song writers. Plus, don't be testing God.

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