Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I could've had an iPhone

As I left for work today, I told Mom that I'd have a breakdown if I only had the time.

I was frustrated by the time it takes me to get ready in the morning. Yesterday it took me 10 minutes to get out of bed. This morning I am not real sure what caused my delay. It's not like I fell.

I saved that for the bathroom at work.

I went to the bathroom today and found a toilet seat cover still resting on the toilet. That annoyed me. As did the little dusting of talcum powder under the toilet. (I assume it was talc; I suppose it could have been cocaine.)

As annoyed as I was, I didn't have any choice because this was the accessible bathroom. So I pushed the cover into the toilet, as some loser was too lazy to do, sat down and took care of business.

When I stood up, I noticed that the talcum powder had made the tiled floor even more slick. I got my shorts and long johns up and made it to my chair, but when I tried to pull up my jeans, I slid to the floor. I was not hurt at all, but I could not get up: My feet kept sliding.

Finally, I decided to call for help. I did call the main office line and got a friend, but then someone walked into the bathroom. I hung up thinking this newcomer would help me.

Now, this is kind of weird. I am not sure what happened. I was peeking out of the stall and he saw me. We said hi, and I asked him to help me. I thought he said, OK, just a minute. I leaned back and waited. I heard the toilet flush, the water turn on and then I looked out to see the door open and the guy leave. I am sure he thought I was fine, but why would someone sit on the floor of a bathroom?

After he left, I dug out my phone again and called for help. Two friends came. One blocked my feet. One pulled me up. They saw my jeans were down still so they said they'd stop back to make sure I made it out. I did. Thanks, John and Steve (no, not my cousins of the same name).

Then I went and put in a request to get the floor cleaned. It was. Next time I went in, there was no talcum powder, but there was an iPhone in the wheelchair stall.

On the way to turn it in to the office managers, I asked a friend what the Finders' Keepers policy is on smart-phones left in wheelchair stalls by someone not in a wheelchair. Perhaps my friend was colored by past conversations with me, but she said that it was clear the owner of the iPhone had broken all the rules of human society. One of the office managers said the person had clearly meant it as a present for me and just forgot the bow.

I love the people I work with.


Anonymous said...

newcomer is going straight to hell. faster than I am. I love you.


Anonymous said...

I liek the people you work with too, Except for the bathroom clods.

Matt Trott said...

Maybe he thought I had finally cracked and started drinking, and was sitting on the floor of the bathroom because I was drunk.

M.G.H. said...

I totally agree with the person who said it was meant as a gift for you! :)

Anonymous said...

you deserve the gift. after i get ready in the morning i feel like i need a rest, it takes me 2 hours. an iphone would be a nice reward.

Matt Trott said...

Next time I keep the phone!

Anonymous said...

yea, like the new attitude.

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