Thursday, January 6, 2011


Sometimes, it is just too hard.

Life. Friedreich's ataxia. Everything.

This week has been one of those times, and it isn't over. I waited for the new year to get glasses because I thought it was one set a year and I bought sunglasses over the summer. I see now it is once every two years, so either wait another year -- not an option -- or suck it up and pay.

But as hard as it has been, there have been clear reasons why I can keep going. And the reasons are certainly not because I found some vast font of grace within me. I am just lucky.

Here is a rundown of my week:

Sunday: I got into the new house only to realize the bathroom is too tight. My brother-in-law has a solution involving barn doors that sounds awesome. But it is aggravating to find that out.

Tuesday: My sister got sick, which is bad for me not only because she entertains me but also because I worry that she infected me.

Also Tuesday, I took Claren for a quick walk and got home and had all of a sudden to be excused. I didn't make it, and it took me twice as long as the walk to get me and the bathroom cleaned.

Claren could not help at all, but God love her, she did her best. She sat on the couch waiting for me, leaving me about 10 inches to squeeze in. She didn't even flinch when I sat; She just dozed right there, as close as possible. I already know she'll help me through anything, but she seemed to be saying to me forcefully: We will get through this.

Wednesday: I went to the bathroom at work and the toilet stopped up on me, almost overflowing as it auto-flushed. I was not ready for it either because what came out of me was not clog-the-toilet worthy. A janitor walked into the bathroom right then and saw the situation as I exited the stall and promised to take care of it.

Thursday: The janitor cleared the clog, but whatever caused it was still in the pipes. It smelled like a dead squirrel had been flushed down the toilet. Needless to say, it is hard to go to the bathroom if you can't breathe. SPOILER ALERT As I hurried out of the stinky stall. I did not buckle my seat belt.

I took Claren out for a walk and decided I would be excused after the walk and would use the lobby bathroom, which doesn't have an auto-door but is pretty private so no one would hear any banging to get in.

While I was out, Claren went to the bathroom and I all of a sudden had to get to a bathroom, too, and I can't use just any grassy area like her. I bent forward to get Claren's poop and just kept going. I had most of the poop in a bag, but I think I rolled on some. I never found it on me, though.

I was stuck for a minute as one arm was pinned under my body. Thankfully, the urge to go went with the fall. Again, Claren thoughtfully just laid down with her back to my back. Finally, I got my arm out and worked my way back to the chair and grabbed my phone.

I called my boss and asked for a younger friend because I didn't want to strain my boss. The younger guy was not at his desk, though, and my boss said he'd come. He did and picked me right up like I was nothing. Claren chose this point to wander off out of site but came wandering back when I called.

Back in the office I was telling a friend who said she was going to make me a spring thing I'd wear on my chest to bounce me back into my chair. She even promised to make it look superhero-y. More importantly, she told me I could call her for help.

Now, on to the glasses place.


Anonymous said...

ughhh. but at leat your ti-lite is here.

Matt Trott said...

We had to call about it. They did not tell us.

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