Falling apart

Usually, I can fall and just laugh it off as one of the hilarious adventures that await those of us with FA, and then there's a fall like last night's.

My sister helped me from my chaise to my chair and I was planning to go straight to the bathroom and bed. But I remembered I wanted to send an email, so I quickly picked up my computer and started typing.

It wasn't until I was bending over to put my laptop down that I realized I didn't buckle my seat belt. Of course, this realization didn't present me from tumbling head over heels onto the floor.

I didn't hurt myself really -- a split lip, a sore nose and a tight neck. But this fall wasn't like the others.

I fell apart.

I was crying, choking back sobs, curling into the fetal position.

"How can I make people I love live like this?" was my chief thought, followed by "Maybe I'll lie here forever."

I decided lying there would only make it worse, so I started sliding toward my chair to get my phone to call my sister. Not that I wanted to.

I was pretty sure anything she said to me would leave me wracked with sobs.

I needed someone unemotional, and it was at that moment that my brother-in-law opened the door  and asked if I was OK. YES!

I asked him to help me up, and he did, kindly ignoring the tears on my face.

I can't believe I managed to fall asleep after that, but I did.

Mom said I just fall apart once in a while because I don't fall apart every day. I wonder.

Anyway, I regret sending that email.