Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Think again, Winona

"I myself am strange and unusual," Winona Ryder claims in Beetlejuice.

But, honey, I got your strange and unusual. FA creates situations so bizarre that to explain them you wind up stringing together words that you never in a million years thinking.

Today, for instance, I got stuck on the toilet because I was sitting on my hand. Really.

I transferred to the toilet safely but a little abruptly. I hadn't pulled my pants down. So I stood again to pull down my pants, only to have my leg give out and send me sitting down sharply on the toilet. Oh, and my left hand was between the toilet and me.

Thankfully, my hand did not hit the water. That's another thing about FA that pisses me off. I need to be thankful for stupid things like this: that my hand, trapped between me and the toilet, didn't hit the water.

My feet slid under the toilet and I bent at the waist, so I had no way to get the weight of me off my hand. Plus, my hand was getting sore.

After maybe 10 hours, or 30 seconds, I was able to move my feet forward and that enabled me to stand up and free my hand. I also was able to finally pull my pants down.

And most surprising of all, I was able not to go to the bathroom till I was ready.

Definitely strange and unusual.

No comments:

Blog Archive