Sunday, September 14, 2014

'I can't believe you wore lobster pants on a bike ride'

Believe it, dear sister!

I even did with malice aforethought. I got up this morning and thought, "Screw it, I'm riding like this.' I mean it is not really any sillier than some of the biking outfits people wear.

It isn't, but that is not the real reason I wore the lobster pants. I did it because changing clothes is the bane of my existence. Or rather it is one of my many banes -- stairs, jerks, Kanye West ...

It is just a freaking pain. I have to stand up and bend down. Pull things up, and take off my glasses to get my shirt on.  It takes way longer than it does for people not in wheelchairs and frankly, I don't have time for it.

That's why I HATE dressing up. I am fairly certain buttons and ties are just a way for the (temporarily able-bodied) Man to keep me down.
Just in case you could not see the little beggars.

My older sister was having a party at a fancy restaurant, which required a collared shirt. I argued with anyone who'd listen that I should be able to wear a pullover shirt with a banded collar. But no, I had to wear a stupid button-down, which means I need to get someone to button my shirt and tuck it in.

I know all people in chairs don't think this way. My brother is always dressing up.

But me? Give me one outfit that I can sleep in and wear until I shower. Then I switch to Outfit 2. Neither has to include lobster pants, but lobsters are pretty stylish.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

blah blah blah.

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