A woman who was friends with Gram and Mom died, so I am pretty sure I was trying to lighten the mood in my head by thinking mirth-some thoughts. The problem with that is that my mirth-some-ness rarely stays in my head.
My sister noticed two times i laughed at the funeral, which means I was able to cover it with a cough two other times.
The mirth-some thoughts she noticed:
- Everyone laughed at this. My problem was I almost lost it. One of the kids doing the reading turned to the wrong page in the lectionary and started to recite the Gospel.
- During Peace, the priest came over and laid hands on me, one hand anyway. I immediately imagined me standing up. I'd say in a deep baritone: "THANKS, FATHER. I NEEDED THAT." Then I'd add, :The power of Christ compelled me."
- My hands were freezing, so I had them in my shirt like a fur-lined muff. But then I coughed. I kind of flashed the priests. And I didn't get any beads.
- Finally, there were no pallbearers exactly. The whole family walked the casket in. That's cool, but for Mom or Dad we'll have three wheelchairs. Then I thought, What if I rode the casket, like a figurehead.That would be awesome.