Thursday, November 12, 2015

I survived

Not to brag, but I may have the cutest esophagus, duodenum, stomach and colon the world has ever seen.  that's my takeaway from the long-awaited colonoscopy/endoscopy yesterday.

Granted, the doctor didn't come right out and say it, but she can't be seen having such a bias. You have to read between the lines of the report and then it becomes painfully obvious that my inner organs are just smoking.

Here are a few other tidbits from the test and its hideous prep:

  • Mom is awesome for pouring me glass after glass of the prep juice, but she is not about manipulating me. I said I couldn't drink anymore, and twice she said, OK, this will be the last one.
  • I am glad my little sister came with Mom and me, but if I didn't know she looks and sounds like Mom, I'd swear she was adopted. She is so something. Pushy doesn't seem right. But something. We were waiting for the doctor to come chat so we could go and she was taking a while. My sister asked the nurse about the doctor twice. The doctor finally called up from another procedure. I am so lucky my sister is on my side.
  • In addition to the normal checkin bracelet, I got an awesome one in neon yellow that said FALL RISK. I debated just keeping it on forever.
  • The FALL RISK bracelet meant I had to do nothing myself, which is good because I couldn't have. When they were preparing me, they positioned me as they wanted. I just had to lie there. (My sister told them they'd have to do this.)
  • Everyone was so nice. I highly recommend Georgetown Hospital for all your medical needs.
  • I have no tolerance for anesthesia. It came via IV, and they said beforehand "you might fell a stinging sensation when the anesthesia enters the IV. OK, here it comes, in 3-2 ..." I might have heard 1. Next thing I knew I was waking up in recovery.
  • For an endoscopy, they put a little thing in your mouth to keep you from biting the scope. IT is bright green. I must have looked so funny.
That's enough.

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