Saturday, July 22, 2017

Are you there, God? It's me, Matty

God is not my favorite. I know that my problem is related to genes, not deities, but part of me (sometimes a large part) can't get past the idea that God knew Friedreich's ataxia was in my genes  and didn't do anything to prevent it.

That is a somewhat simplistic sentence about me, but the upshot its I don't usually pray to God.

I talk to others in Heaven -- ask the saints, his mom, my relatives and friends for help and to talk to the big guy.

Today, though, I prayed to God. I told him I can't take anymore. He didn't answer, apparently confident I can take more.

2 comments:

mike tevnan said...

Hi Matty
I'm Mike and I identify with your soul searching. My wife, Kathy, is a paraplegic due to a doctor's error in a simple procedure but he pierced her spinal cord in 2 places. This was almost 10 years ago and we are both in our 60s. Lots of learning, adapting, anger, sadness and a multitude of othe physical, mental and emotional and learning experiences,,,still,
I am a Christian and believe in Jesus as my Lord and Savior. You can't imagine all the prayers I've placed before Him to heal Kathy and give us a fruitful retirement. But nothing has changed. So I emphasize with your "bitterness". I can tell you all the things that "God has a Plan" or He is still there or the many other encouragements Christians will give you/me, but we are the ones who are living this now.
God is not vindictive nor does he just allow things to happen, it's just that our limited visions and understandings of circumstances causes our lack of understanding of what's ahead for us here on earth. The only thing I can say is to believe that God in Jesus KNOWS your struggles and His hand is always open.
I know I don't know you and have not earned the right to say these things to you, Matty, and not the best Christian to try to say things to you. (A Christian is a person who has accepted the gift of eternal life with God through the forgiveness of our sins...its free) but that doesn't make me perfect here but I Believe (and sometimes its really hard)
Here's my bible verse that has helped me....
Phillians ch 4, vs 4-7
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
Do not be anxious about anything,but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the

peace of God , which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus
Thanks for letting me share a bit of me with you, Matty. If you are interested in following up with me my email is miketev100@gmail.com
The only agenda I have is to be a support
BTW, Kathy's SD is Cosmo and now I am #2. But I raised a pup for CCI, General, but he was diagnosed with potential dysplasa and so we kept him now for 5 yrs...I'm now # 3... we will not get a fish or parakeet because I will not drop further down the list!

I wish you all the best and hope this note is an encouragement, Matty!
Mike Tevnan
Silver Spring MD

Matt Trott said...

Thanks Mike, belief is all you have sometimes

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