Defeat

I had an appointment today, but I canceled.

It was at a place I'd never been, and I was so unnerved by yesterday.

Canceling reliefed me, sure, but rarely have I felt so defeated. I didn't go somewhere I wanted solely because of my body's limitations. Pathetic.

And I am inclined to telework more because I can't count on a usable bathroom, but not being there makes it more likely that thoughtless people will use the wheelchair stall more frequently. I'll b out of sight; it won't take much to push me out of mind.

Defeated.