I want to be a bear

Nobody makes fun of bears -- and they hibernate all winter -- so why do I feel wussy and embarrassed for sleeping a large part of today?

I reckon it is because it   is not abnormal for a weekend day, even one that isn't rainy like today.

I know sleeping a lot is also a sign of depression, and not that I am embarrassed by that, but I suspect I am depressed.

Few bad things happen when I sleep. I don't worry. I don't fall. I don't hurt. Plus, I do need more sleep than others.

More reason to hate winter

As I wear my hearing aids as much as possible, I have uncovered new problems.

I took off my hat at work  yesterday, and my hearing aid came loose, falling out completely shortly thereafter.

A friend put it back in -- I feel guilty for how much I make people in my life do -- but I figured I best go hatless at lunch.

I did, and boy, did the hearing aids get cold.

My awesome doctor

I have been seeing my doctor for 17 years, and she's is pretty awesome. But I may have to change doctors -- she is starting to make fun of me.

At my physical last year, I told her my stomach issues had largely improved since my colonoscopy a year earlier. Ahh, a therapeutic colonoscopy, she replied.

I wasn't sure if she was mocking me or not, so i went home and looked up "therapeutic colonoscopy." Apparently it is a real thinking but only for serious ailments. in other words, yes, mockery.

Later, she asked if I ever used baby powder to help dry myself off. I said I occasionally used talcum powder. I don't; I use baby powder but I couldn't think of the word,  so said talcum.

Her reply: Oh, you're going to get ovarian cancer. She must have realized she was talking to an occasional hypochondriac because she quickly added, just kidding.

Of course, I am just kidding about needing a new doctor. She went up several notches in my book by making fun of  me.

Bifocals, hearing aids and FA

I got my  bifocals today, on the way home from an appointment to get my hearing aids checked.

The bifocals work as advertised, so I can read my comics without squinting. That's good.

At the hearing checkup, I said I still can't really discern things I hear, which I can't. She said it takes time and told me to wear my hearing aids more, that I really need to stimulate m auditory nerves. She said the stats in the hearing aids show I am only wearing them four hours a day. I don't think that's right but whatever.

Mainly what I was thinking during these three hours is how colossally unfair it is that I have to deal with these issues on top of Friedreich's ataxia. It's nothing new, but  I don't imagine I'll ever get over that. How am I supposed to survive a massive disability with all this middling crap? (And I must be losing it to call hearing loss "middling.")

The bar is low

Throughout the 10 years I have been blogging, I have written an average of 152.9 posts a year, always above 125. Until last year.

I only wrote 92. I broke double digits in just two months.

I  need to do better. Not for the legions of fans hanging on my every word.  For me.

I need to feel better. That happens when I write.