Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Help me, Drew Barrymore, you're my only hope

I have been thinking about my girlfriend, or lack thereof. I think that is why my chest feels so heavy ... although it could also be the temperature is about 100 and the humidity is like 99%.

If I did not get a girl in high school or college, when things were simpler, and I could walk, what chance do I have? So I am counting on Ms. Barrymore, the queen of romantic comedies. (Buffy would be atop my wishlist but I can't see her doing a romantic comedy.)

I need someone like you, Drew, to fall in love with me -- wheelchair, insecurity and all. And you will need to make about the first 50 moves in order to have a relationship.

Maybe you could work in the bank I wheel by each day on the way to lunch, and you see me again and again, and you can't get me out of your mind.

I can see it now: We meet when you drop a wad of bills, and nice guy that I am, I pick it for you. And soon we are laughing over lunch, you are sitting in my lap as I wheel easily down hills.

It could be a screwball romantic comedy. We would each need wacky sidekicks. Yours could be the skanky-looking bank teller who actually has a PhD in veterinary science and quotes Plato. Mine could be a co-worker who talks to rocks.

It'll be a blast, Drew, and it will make millions.

He put my shoe back on

I wore my sneakers to work today because I need to change to shorts after work and it is easier if I can keep my socks on and just slide my sneakers back on. Otherwise I have to take off my socks to wear shorts.

Anyway, a shoe fell off as my driver was buckling me in. He just kindly put it back on. And I was on time!


Anonymous said...

If only Drew Barrymore were your driver.

Matt said...

OK, so you got me thinking. Perhaps instead of Drew, the perfect choice is Uma Thurman. Sure she isn't a romantic comedy maven, but she is familiar with the genre. Even better, she could be my personal assistant pirate because she can wield a sword.

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