Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Slip-sliding away

Today I paid a woman to touch me in places that have not been touched in years, if ever. I got a massage. It was awesome.

The massage itself was awesome; slipping off the table as I was getting up and sliding to the floor was less awesome. It was pretty funny -- I never thought someone would say to me "you're too slippery" -- but not so awesome.

The masseuse helped me get on the table, took off my shoes, pants and shirt and massaged me good, put my pants and shoes on, but then I swung my legs off the table.

My feet hit my chair and stayed on the seat. Then my butt started slipping off the table and next thing I knew I was on the floor.

The masseuse was a small woman and she started freaking out -- maybe because I kept laughing. She kept trying to help me up, but the soles of my feet weren't on the floor. Plus, I was slippery.

She kept opening the door and calling for another masseuse, but he didn't hear, I guess.

Eventually, she put one of my feet on the floor sole-down, stepped on it to keep it that way and heaved me up. Doing my part, I lunged into the chair.

She tried not to charge me because of the fall, but hell if a fall meant I didn't have to pay, I'd be real rich.

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