Defeated

Today marks the first day my back was not a significant pain. It also marks the day I admitted defeat at the hands of the Urinator. Well, not his hands exactly, rather his leaky penis.

Here is how I spent a good half-hour or more this morning:

• Go to bathroom on our floor.
• Shut stall door.
• See pee all over back of seat and paper towels all over floor of stall.
• Leave bathroom.
• Return to office an get Claren.
• Go to elevator and get on car that said up but really went down, so I went from 3 to 1.
• Get off at 2 and go to bathroom on floor.
• Barrel through door because button was broken.
• Go to bathroom.
• Wait for other bathroom user to help  me leave since button was broken.
• Return to my floor.
• Tell building manager about the messiness.
• Return to office.

And that wasn't the end. There was goddamned pee all over in the afternoon.

I am seriously considering standing at the toilet from now on, just waiting to fall and bleed. Then I take a photo, put it in the stall and say: "Clean your pee; don't make me bleed."

Not that that would work. I don't think anything will, short of me falling and dying. But if I am deadm who cares if he pees?