Nothing heroic in this tragedy

One of the saddest times I have ever experienced is when a friend's daughter died. She had cerebral palsy and he did most everything for her.

He just seemed broken. I guess he was.

I was thinking about this after I read an e-mail about a guy my age with Freidriech's ataxia who killed himself recently.

The note on the Internaf, an e-mail list, said that he had "been arranaging for an assisted-suicide for some time now" and that he "refused to let FA win."

We are supposed to believe that he refused to let a disease win ... until of course he gave in to the disease 100%? Fighters don't choose easy ways out.

The e-mail says he was a "people lover." But his death seems a repudiation of the very people he knew best: his family.

This is why I thought of my friend. I am sure that the guy with FA and many others see his death as freeing his loved ones to enjoy life without the weight of an FA patient.

Does his mom or dad think that today? Do they really think: "Gosh, how nice not to have to care for the boy I brought into this life. I think I will sleep in."?

I can't imagine my friend being happy he doesn't have to care for his daughter.

And how can the FA guy's sister feel? She also has FA. Did her brother just set a timetable for her? Is she not as good a person if she does not kill herself?

One of the hardest things about FA, really about life in general, is accepting help. This guy decided not to, and that is the tragedy here.