What an eyeful

I think I owe the Internet an apology.

I did a Google search this morning of eyeful, expecting to be inundated with sites of nekkid ladies. The first result seemed promising but turned out to be a news story about a mom breast-feeding in public.

I had to go to page seven of the search results to find a definite hit for nakedness. I assume the link "Yvette Gives An Eyeful" was to a questionable site. I didn't look. Really.

On the first six pages were results about celebrities, science images and photos in general. That is basically what Merriam-Webster would expect to find: It says that eyeful means a "a full or completely satisfying view." In my defense, "a strikingly beautiful woman" is definition number two. But apparently the Web is not just about babes. Who knew?

Unfortunately, when I say "I got an eyeful this morning," I don't mean I opened the door to Natalie Portman.

No, I mean Metamucil gushed into my eye.

I was having my morning toddy (definition No. 2, Metamucil is better warm, but no liquor), and during the drink I coughed. This threw me off-balance, and my arm jumped. The drink spilled and somehow went under my glasses and in my right eye. I don't think my eye, which has been savaged by allergies already, needed the fiber. It still stings.

I really wish Natalie had been at my door instead.