I am not pregnant

I had an ultrasound today. Thankfully, I am not with child (that would be a wacky and disturbing virgin birth, huh?).

My kidneys also checked out, so did my bladder. The radiology doctor, I think, was a little put out that the guy in the wheelchair has no kidney or bladder problems. Why did your urologist send you for these tests, she wanted to know. Maybe she was bored and hoping for an interesting case. I am not sure my answer: to rule things out, was satisfactory either. Nevertheless, she gave me the good news so I am a fan.

My hearing is also surprising good, although my awareness leaves something to be desires.

They instruct you to show up with a full bladder, which seemed like an iffy proposition for someone who has continence issues. But right after they take a few pictures of the full bladder, they have you go to the bathroom and drain your bladder. Then they check to see if your bladder really did empty. Then they scan your kidneys.

In the bathroom, I failed the awareness test by not noticing I had pulled the string marked "pull for help." I am still not sure how I did that. I was just glad I hear well enough that when my radiologist hollered in: Are you OK, I was able to say yes. She then asked me kindly to his the red cancel button on the wall.

After I got back in the ultrasound room, the radiologist looked and said: Yep, your bladder is empty, good work. The radiology doctor said: Really clean, you didn't use a catheter, did you?

I like praise and pats on the back as much as ... no, more than the next guy. But I did not feel like I had done much. My bladder works ... WHOO ... PARTY.