Why buy the cow ...

Other than my self-esteem, Marcus was the first real victim of my Friedreich's ataxia.

I didn't kill him, but as it got harder and harder to carry liquids, I stopped bringing him fresh water.

Marcus was my first parakeet, a lovely blue and white bird that my sister and I bought when I was in like sixth grade. In retrospect, it seems silly for two people to buy a bird because the ones I have known generally bond with one person.

Marcus chose me, maybe because I let him do unmentionable things to my thumb. (I can't believe I wrote that. It is one of my deepest, darkest secrets. Perhaps having that as my worst secret proves that I am really a milquetoast. Either that or that I should have been born a female parakeet. Do they get FA, I wonder.) Having written all this, I have a tremendous urge to go wash my hands like Lady MacBeth.

Actually, he chose me, I am sure, because I was around a lot and took time to play with him, or at least let him sit on my shoulder while I played computer games.

In hopes of keeping my thumb attractive for marriage, I bought first Layla, who was quite tame from the start. Anne and Nancy, aka Lily and Roxanne, came later. Someone gave them to the pet store I worked at, and I brought them home. I was never real sure of their names. I liked Anne and Nancy after the Wilson sisters of Heart. My brother suggested Lily and Roxanne. They were never tame, Nancy, or Roxanne, wasn't afraid of me. She would sit on my finger if there were a reason to, like food.

I was a good owner for many years, changing the paper towels on the bottom of the cage, bringing new food and water. I even counted the number of droppings on those paper towels to make sure there were no dramatic intestinal changes.

Then I stopped. If you had asked me then, I would have said it took too much time to clean the bird cages and feed and water them. But I remember just being pissed off that I would leave the bathroom with a full water dish, and 15 feet later I would get to the cage and there'd be as much on the floor as in the dish. Eventually, I changed the water as little I could.

All my birds died when I was away at school, so I have airtight alibis.

What really pisses me off looking back is that we weren't concerned by this lack of balance. I know that I did not advertise my incoordination and I had other issues to deal with in high school, so I guess I am not that surprised. It is not like it would have changed anything even if we did know.

Well, no difference as to the disease. But maybe I'd be better adjusted now and would not admit in a blog that my male parakeet used to take advantage of me.