Can you imagine Matt with a zombie wife?

I am not ignorant about zombies.

I am not in the same league as any of my nephews, each of whom can hold serious and detailed conversations about where they will go when the zombie menace arrives, but as I say I am not ignorant. I have read World War Z and the occasional zombie comic. I have seen several "of the dead" movies and that stereotypical Bond masterpiece Live and Let Die, which assured Jane Seymour a place deep in my heart.

For the life of me, though, I am not sure why I am turning into a zombie, but I am. No one has bitten me; I have not befallen no plagues that I know of.

My feet just are covered with cuts and scrapes that do not heal and instead just look gross. One trait of zombies is sores or decaying flesh. My cuts are not decaying, I guess, and they don't hurt, which may be another zombie trait. Zombies don't feel pain, do they?

And it is not like being zombie-fied solves my Friedreich's ataxia. I don't know that zombies' bodies are healed. In fact, the other zombies would probably just set on me for the easy pickings.

Oh, now this seriously blows. I was looking up whether zombies feel pain when I discovered that an assistant professor at Harvard has given a name to the zombie plague: Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome.

I know that ataxia just means a lost of control of bodily movement, d neurodegenerative just means a progressive loss of neurons or brain function, but how would you like it if two words that describe your all-too-real disease also describes the goddamned zombie plague.

I guess we can now attribute my zombie feet to genes. I wonder what will be next.

Just my luck I'l be the only zombie to contract Kuru.