It would have been funny

I am reading The Big Over Easy by Jasper Fforde these days. It is a science fiction comedy set in a world like ours except nursery rhyme characters live among the people and no one worries that Mr. Dumpty is an egg. The other key difference is that police detectives have secretaries who write up the investigations for entertainment magazines. The best detectives, therefore, are often those who bend the rules --withholding evidence until they can use it themselves -- and make their cases suspenseful even when it's not necessary.

I was tempted today to make my life more suspenseful, just for this blog.

I was standing up facing the toilet and I sat backward to get into my chair. My chair was farther back then I realized and I wound up sliding gently down my chair and sitting on the footplate, which was down. That would have been a normal and uneventful slip. I could have just pulled myself up via the grab bars in the bathroom.

But (there's that danged "but" again) my arm snagged my chair's joystick on the way down and before I was able to stop it, my chair moved forward and squeezed me into the toilet so I was between the toilet and the chair.

I got my arm off the joystick and sat there wondering if I should call for help, not that I needed it, but because it was so unique.

I decided not to, because Mom and Dad were out and if I could reach my cellphone to call my little sister, then surely I could reach my joystick, people would ask. So I did back it up and got in my chair, went out on the porch to sit in my chaise lounge and fell on to the floor of the deck because I hadn't buckled my seatbelt after I left the bathroom.

I did have to call my brother-in-law to help me from that oh-so-common and boring fall. I deserved it.