Malaise-y days of summer

I don't remember ever having writer's block like this.

It is not like nothing is happening. I just don't know what to say about it.

For instance:

• I noticed on Thursday morning a bruise on my inside upper arm in almost a perfect little circle, dime-size. In the middle is a hole. I had no idea what I did until later Thursday as I left a meeting. I swung my chair around to leave and just like I did the day before my arm got smashed between the corner of the table and my chair. People were waiting or me to go first through the door so I just kept going, knowing I'd soon get past the table and be OK. That is how bruises happen.

• I hate even going to meetings because I often can't really hear, but my boss has been out of the office. So work has been hectic, and I mentioned to someone that I was feeling cranky. She said she had never seen me cranky. I can never tell if that is good or not. I think I hide my crankiness because I am worried that people won't understand Cranky Matt is just temporary. Mostly, though, I think I am just not cranky when I am with people I like and don't want them to deal with Cranky Matt.

I thought this theory fell apart because I thought my family sees Cranky Matt. My little sister is always calling me "Crank-enstein." But Mom said I am sometimes sad, not cranky. Take that, little sister.

• My shoulder still hurts. It is worse in the mornings but OK once the muscle is warmed up.

I just feel rotten, not physically. Mom said maybe I miss my family, by which she meant my little sister's family. She is probably right.