Winnie the Pooh and God

A friend of mine recently celebrated the two-year anniversary of her faith-healing.

She is more a Facebook friend now, but she was my friend when we worked together. And she is not someone to lie.

I hate faith-healing and the cures at Lourdes and other holy sites. I hate the miracle cures Jesus performed. They all stab at me, mocking: Why aren't you good enough?

And if I was cured, then what? I think that would be worse: to be the recipient of a miracle cure when others are still sick.

When I was a child, I had a fever-enhanced dream that combined Winnie the Pooh and Jesus Christ Superstar. In one Pooh story, there is a flood and he watches from the safety of a tree branch as jugs of honey float by below him. In JCS, Jesus is pursued by sick people who want him to heal them. He finally cries out, "There are too many of you."

In my dream, I was Pooh up in the tree safe. Instead of honey floating by, it was people, who reached out to me. I could not help, and I, too, shouted, "There are too many of you." I woke in tears.

I can only assume God feels similarly rotten when seeing all the sick people on the earth. Mom says God can't heal us all. And if God feels the anguish of not being able to cure everyone, then why cure anyone? What does it say if someone gets cured but others don't?

UGH. Another question: Why does thinking of God often leave me sad?