Condoms and crawling

It is a magical life I lead.

For instance, you could ask: What did you do today, Matt?

Well, this morning I  spent time playing with a condom, figuring out how I'd put it on.

I didn't have a date and wasn't planning to visit a bawdy house. I was preparing to test a condom catheter.

I remembered an LA Law where Arnie taught the mentally disabled guy to use a condom, but I never saw it. Finally, I decided to just wing it.

The testing complete, I then spent time on the floor of Mom and Dad's living room crawling. Again, Claren was a sympathetic obstacle, lying down just in front of me.

Then I came home and Mom put a bag on my leg. I put on the condom with less trouble than I thought, used it, took a nap, and woke up to find it leaked.