Why indeed?

Why are you talking like that, the first-grader asked me.

I was playing with  Fame in the backyard and she was playing on our swings. Granted, I was talking kind of silly to keep Fame entertained, but I am fairly certain she meant the slurring and general fuzziness of my speech.

I decided to play dumb. I was in my own backyard; I can talk however I damn well please, girlie  

How am I talking, I replied. Giving lip to someone more than 35 years younger --  nice, huh?

But she didn't  hear and didn't ask again. Alternately, the slightly older neighbor might have hushed her up.

It is a good question, though, one I plan to ask certain higher beings when I die.

P.S.: You might think I dislike this precocious pre-pre-teen. Normally, you'd be right, but not here.  I am not getting nicer. It's just that the day before this girl was marching through the yard with a light saber, singing/humming "The Imperial March."