You can call me Matty Claus

Because I climbed up and down the Chimney at Rockville Earth Treks last night! And it was a really hard climb.

We had to do a little regrouping at first. It was a new team. My good friend J climbed with me, and each of us had belayers who I had not met before. P and A were very cool, though.

It is pretty awesome how J finds these good, patient people to help me. And she found another last night while we were climbing.

J kept telling me she was not as aggressive as my other climbing partner. But when we were on the wall, I didn't want to stop she was cheering me on so much.

One thing we had to tweak. I realized halfway through that J was saying this leg and tapping one. I didn't feel it, so she began smacking the wall next to whatever leg. J also lets me get away with using my right leg too much. I need to work on the left leg.

We started on a regular wall and that felt almost easy. I tried to ignore all the kids zipping around the walls who probably weren't born until after I turned 30.

Then it was time for the Chimney.

Unlike the other walls I had climbed, this one had both a negative incline and an outcrop.

Negative incline means that the wall leans a little out so parts of the wall are farther out than the bottom. The other walls had been straight or leaned a little back so the bottom was farther out. Instead of just worrying about climbing, you have to worry about staying on the wall.

The outcrop just means there is something to over from underneath.

Before we started, J kept telling me that it would not be bad if I didn't do this on my first try and that I could always try again.

The way I look at it, though, is I don't want to have to climb through all the negative incline, only to be outdone by the outcrop or whatever. J says "All day baby!" I suspect it doesn't really mean this, but I will succeed at most things if I am given all day. And I took a rest or two on the Chimney. P held me steady so I was safe.

And then I was up there! ADB!

I did a third climb on an easy wall, and it about killed me, but I made it to the top of that one, too.

God bless me

My blood-check proved inconclusive today after I sneezed and flew into my keyboard at work.

My glasses flew off, and I felt something wet on my nose, but my hand did not come away all bloody. I ran my hand over my face again and didn't exactly see blood but noticed my thumb was turning a shade of red.

Right on the bridge of my nose under my glasses, he told me. He also correctly guessed I had sneezed and said he had sneezed while driving down the highway last week. I guess a bloody nose is better than that.

I think I broke my ear

Last night was bad.

I got up to go to the bathroom fine, and it went downhill from there fast.

I won't bore or disgust you with details, suffice it to say my bladder was being a fucking pisser and I had to change pants.

I decided to call Mom for a little help and then something happened.

I don't know if I reached for my cellphone and lost my balance or if I coughed or just breathed funny, but I fell. I had not done my seat belt because I needed to changed my pants and hadn't pulled them up. I smacked my left ear into the 4-inch wide wall at the front of the shower. Then I sort of slid down the wall, smashing my cheek and glasses. Then I fell completely onto the floor of the shower.

Lying in the fetal position, half in the shower, with my damp pants around my ankles, I was pretty sure I never wanted to get up.

Then I decided I didn't want Mom or Dad to find me like this, and I was certain that I had made enough noise falling to wake the dead.

So I pulled myself up, brushing a hand over my face and head to make sure I was blood-free, then I called Mom for help. She must have know I was hurting because I kind of muttered I needed help, and she said she'd come right downstairs even though she couldn't have really heard me.

We got things taken care of and as she was letting the bathroom door close on me so I could wash my hands, I said: "Sorry, Mom." She replied: "It's all right, Matt."

I almost fell out of my chair again I started sobbing so hard. Instead I just collapsed with my chest on my thighs and Mom rubbing my head.

It is anything but all right that my mother who just went to her 50th college reunion has to tend to her son like that.

It is anything but all right that my little sister will have to tend to her older brother when this happens in the new house. (I wanted to say "if it happens in the new house," but I am not an idiot.)

It is anything but all right that Dad has to chauffeur me around.

Where was God for all this? What kind of being turns such a cold ear and eye on me? God should not rely on people to be there for me.

At least my people are unlikely to let me down.

I fell into a razor

Rather than pay someone $15 to drag a razor over my head for a few minutes, I bought an electric razor. Actually, Mom bought it for me for Saint Matthew's feast day a few years ago.

I suppose I could cut my own hair, but Mom doesn't charge, so it works out great. I have saved lots of money and never thought I'd regret it ... until today.

My liberal mom, I suspect, is still reeling from last night at her 50th college reunion when a friend she had not seen in years asked her if she was a member of the Tea Party. Granted, Mom was pretty conservative when younger.

She must have still been thinking about it. That's the only way to explain what happened this morning when she cut my hair.

I felt the metal of the razor right away, and I started to ask if Mom had forgotten something, like the Number 2 blade cover. She immediately stopped, and her face told me that she did. The cool breeze I felt down the middle of my scalp was another clue.

After showing me the start of my reverse mohawk in a mirror, Mom went next door to get my sister. She has a razor with a Number 1 blade (we lost our No. 1) and we thought she might have some ideas.

She came over with her razor and her family. My 5-year-old nephew ran in, started laughing at me and started referring to it as a "tomahawk." My niece, 7, apparently brought a camera over to capture the scene. Then my brother-in-law. I forget what he said and it wasn't his words. He has some looks, though, that said it all.

My sister cut it with the Number 1 all over, and oh my god it is short. I wish I could blame this on Friedreich's ataxia, but I can't ... unless ...

I fell into a razor.

Someone call 911 ...

The water had not quite boiled when Mom and Dad got home from her 50th college reunion.

This was good and bad. Good because they could safely pour my tea for me. Bad because their return kept me from dealing with the fact that I really should not pout boiling water out of a kettle/.

I know my sister would have come over if I had called. I was also considering texting "911" when the water boiled, but I doubted she would find tea a true emergency. Maybe if had told her I needed her help to get the homemade congo cookies?

I love that there are people who will help me do anything. I hate asking them, though.

I want to do so many things -- and I probably could do most of them -- but I need help, and it is not as simple as just asking. Schedules have to be synced up, etc.

When I spend a day mostly alone, I often think of things I could do ... if I could drive, if I could get on my trike by myself, if if if ...