Wednesday, December 19, 2012


Today marks the first day my back was not a significant pain. It also marks the day I admitted defeat at the hands of the Urinator. Well, not his hands exactly, rather his leaky penis.

Here is how I spent a good half-hour or more this morning:

  • Go to bathroom on our floor.
  • Shut stall door.
  • See pee all over back of seat and paper towels all over floor of stall.
  • Leave bathroom.
  • Return to office an get Claren.
  • Go to elevator and get on car that said up but really went down, so I went from 3 to 1.
  • Get off at 2 and go to bathroom on floor.
  • Barrel through door because button was broken.
  • Go to bathroom.
  • Wait for other bathroom user to help  me leave since button was broken.
  • Return to my floor.
  • Tell building manager about the messiness.
  • Return to office.

And that wasn't the end. There was goddamned pee all over in the afternoon.

I am seriously considering standing at the toilet from now on, just waiting to fall and bleed. Then I take a photo, put it in the stall and say: "Clean your pee; don't make me bleed."

Not that that would work. I don't think anything will, short of me falling and dying. But if I am deadm who cares if he pees?


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I think some off-color language on the wall is in order!happy about your back.

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