A cavalcade of inaccessibility and a moron trio

My brother-in-law, brother and I went to the movies last night. So did Claren, my service dog.

We got the tickets but when we handed them to the ticket taker, she said the elevator's I out. She was not too helpful, but the manager came out, apologizing and offering to take us on the service elevator.

Soon we were wandering in the bowels of the mall to get to the service elevator. The manager was very nice but not that skilled at opening service elevators. My brother-in-law did that, and we got in and rode to one floor and got out. Turned out to be the wrong floor so we rode to another one, but the manager couldn't find the way into the theater.

Finally, we rode back up and waited while she got the assistant manager who knew where to go. It was on this ride that I noticed the big sign in the elevator: THIS IS NOT A PASSENGER ELEVATOR. Only freight handlers and the elevator operator allowed on this elevator. I guess I am freight.

We went back to one of the earlier floors and the manager went into the theater and opened the necessary "exit-only" doors that got us in. I asked her how we'd get back up, and she asked my walking brother-in-law to come up and get her. She also said she'd give us passes and stuff. My brother-in-law noticed that the "exit-only" doors said "to 4th parking level," and asked the manager if they did do that because we parked on 4. She assured us they did.

The actual theater was dark when we got in, always fun to maneuver a chair in the dark, and some folks were sitting in the wheelchair companion seats. One did move, though, so we got situated and watched Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. Definitely better than Spider-Man 3, and there is something about a woman pirate. Or maybe the something is about Kiera Knightly, whether she is a pirate or not.

Of course, this is not the end of the story.

We decided to forgo the free passes and just go straight out the "exit-only" doors to the garage. We did. It took us right to the … third floor.

We rode a working elevator up to the fourth floor and my brother-in-law held the door for me and my brother. My brother made it out, but before I could get out these three people walked straight out the door, too. Two others stopped for me, so I went out, and thankfully my brother-in-law said something to them, like "You just cut off the wheelchair I was holding the door for."

I say thankfully because I don't think they heard my sighing, eye-rolling or grinding of teeth. The girl in the trio did look embarrassed, although she also looked at her companions like she was annoyed at them for getting her into this. Of course, she was in the lead, so I don't know; her companions just looked clueless.


And then we went home. But you can be darn sure that if I had a woman pirate with me, there would have been blood shed.