You want what?

I asked Mom today to get me some panty hose.

I don't think I am a transvestite although I do remember being jealous of my little sister's pantsuit that she wore in kindergarten. In my defense it probably reminded me of the outfits GI Joe or astronauts wore ... except it was red, had short sleeves and a collar.

The hose are for the bathroom, and no I don't want to hang them on the shower curtain rod to make my female visitors jealous. Mom and other relatives are the only female visitors. They'd just think I was weird, well, weirder.

I want to put my soap in the hose and tie one end to a grab bar so I am not continually fishing around for it. Like soap on a rope, but without the prison shower references.