What's subtle?

A wheelchair is about as subtle as a 732 pound naked man trying to dance Swan Lake.

I guess this is why I ordered the candy-apple red wheelchair. I had a drab green one before, and it is not like anyone overlooked my chair. So the new one is kind of my "what up, mother---ers."

I don't know if that is better than being drab, but I do miss being subtle.

The other night I saw someone walking a dog and I started to cross the street, because that is where the trash can is, not to keep Claren away from another dog. In the middle of the street, I saw it was a person who likes Claren and who I like to chat with. Of course, though, I can't simply turn around. No, I made a big circle in the street -- thankfully no cars were coming -- to talk to her.

Or today, I was leaving work at the same time as a friend. I would have liked to say "I'll walk out with you" or something, but she was going the other way and we both were talking to our bosses. And it is just damn near impossible to maneuver a wheelchair so you can catch a friend without it becoming some grand, show-stopping act.

Other quick hits from a crappy day:

• I asked the wheelchair vendor about these two problems with the new chair. Overall, it is nice. My boss said that as a former hot rodder, he liked the colors. But the power switch turns on by accident quite easily. I'll turn it off and then stand up to transfer. Often my leg will brush the side of the controller and turn it on. Or I'll be changing clothes and a sock will brush the switch and turn it on. I haven't hit the joystick after turning it on, but I fear it is just a matter of time. I ran into this problem at dinner last night and at work today with the new chair. The controller won't fit under my table, desk or keyboard tray. I can lift it out of the way but then I lose the support and stability the arm provides. It is causing me to lean more into the lateral suport, too, causing discomfort, so I swung that away and lost that support.

• Also, one should not use it without the foot rest being down. I tried to just go to the bathroom from the living room, but I got stuck in the hall with my poor right foot at odd angles under the front wheel.

• My night sweats seem to be confused by the switch to daylight saving time. I fell asleep after work and woke up for dinner but had to go change clothes because one could have wrung out my shirts.

• It now needs to be a 30-minute rule. I brought my dinner over on my rolling tray and sat down to watch "The Simpsons." A dinner roll fell and despite all my looking I could not find it till I got up and saw it on the floor in front of Claren's toolbox. I did eat it.