I hate elevators

When I run the world or at least a company, the elevators in my building will operate with motion detectors so they do not close on people just before they get there.

I mean really. With all the other crap going on in my life, the only way for me to get between floors also requires speed and dexterity? Sometimes I have to push the call button like three times to reach an elevator car on the end of the row at work.

When I see a certain elevator car light up, I usually just give up, wait till it closes, then push the direction I don't want to go and finally the direction I do want. This means the speedy elevator opens for the other direction and I can get the next one. Hopefully.

Closing elevators also tempt people to stick their hands in to keep the doors open. Of course, there is no guarantee the elevator will open once your hand is in there.

When I first got Claren, she was not a big fan of elevators. I remember getting in an elevator car at work, she shied back, when the door closed on my hand, which still had Claren's leash on it.

Fortunately, the car did not start to move. It did not open, though, either. I was worried I would go down in memory as the boy who lost his arm and his dog in the elevator.

I had to wait till a co-worker came upon what must have been a hilarious, or disturbing, sight: a hand sticking out of the closed doors of an elevator and holding a leash to a service dog.

She had the grace not to laugh, she just pushed the elevator call button, and the elevator opened.