No more catheters!

The good news is that I do not have to have the test where my bladder is filled via catheter and the bladder is watched for developments.

The bad news is that we didn't make this decision until after I had fainted because of the catheter that drained my bladder.

More bad news is that we can't be certain this medicine I got prescribed will help or that my bladder truly is fine. It was decidedly unfine Thursday after I got home from the urologist, which is why this did not get written yesterday. I'd write a sentence,have to pee, get up, really have to pee, pee, change clothes after not getting there in time, repeat. After the third time, I just went to bed.

But, and I am not sure I can stress this enough: No more catheters.

I say that now, but Thursday night as I was lying in bed listening to the clock chime, all I could think of was: What if they broke me?

Truth be told, I didn't quite faint. I was in the middle of stage one: the bladder emptying, and I just felt really clammy. I told the doctor who lowered the head of the bed and started bathing my neck and cheek with a cold cloth.

What I told her was: "It's probably par for the course but I am pretty clammy."

Afterward she found this cute that I was so calm and polite. She also treats my brother, and after grabbing Dad from the waiting room to tell him I fainted, she said: Your boys are so sweet.

Maybe she wouldn't think that if I said what I was really thinking: GIVEN THAT YOU ARE RAMMING A GODDAMNED HOUSE UP MY PENIS, I FEEL A LITTLE CRAPPY!

What I dislike about feeling faint is that the doctors want you to talk. Now, I am not loquacious. After a spell, I just like to recover quietly. But, no, it was like after I dunk my head under water at swimming. MATT, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? TALK TO ME! It's always like, do I have to?

But I survived. I worked from home today to make sure I was OK and I was. So now I can rejoice: No more catheters!