If I am in a boat wreck, I am done for. That's a given. Today, I learned that my rotting carcass won't feed the birds. Even if I just lie on the water, I sink, so I guess fishies will get my toes. Maybe an octopus will eat my eyeballs. Unless, of course, my corpse bloats and provides buoyancy, which would be ironic because who needs to float when dead.
All right, no more grossness.
I did try the dead man's float and I did sink pretty fast. I remember that the dead man's float was about all I could do after my summer of lessons when I was 10. Well, that and going underwater, which I did to hide from JoAnne and the other girls in the next lesson.
In addition to sinking, I sucked in a lot of water. A LOT.
I am not sure why. It was through my nose, and I was saying to myself: DON'T. But I did. I am blaming allergies.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
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- Do you feel lucky, Matt? Hell no!
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- No joke: Auto-flush toilet overflows on me
- Why would I want to look like a tool?
- I am not Claren
- The dead man's sink
- It's Miller Time
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7 comments:
did the chlorine at least clear out the sinuses? ;)
did you have the fat suit on?
xoxo
ejd
The sinuses were great in the sauna-like conditions of the pool. But no fat suit.
If you posted 3 times a day, I MIGHT be satisfied. You are good at this, Matt. -- Ellen
You get EJD a big enough salary, and then I will retire and blog.
You could retire now and make $ selling things on here, like shirts with pics of you and claren or hats with witty sayings.
EMT
What? Huh?
what?
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