I want to run

The sun was shining and it looked like a beautiful morning out my doctor's window.

At that point, I knew just what I wanted to do: Run away.

• Away from the dizziness and light-headed feeling I have had since Tuesday and that kept me from a party on a boat last night.
• Away from the goddamned wheelchair.
• Away from the fucking Freidriech's ataxia.
• Away from the heat.
• Away from the stress.

I wanted to run away from my life. Not suicide. The idea is to run to something better, not to nothingness. How great would it be to run to a beach? To dive in the water and feel its cooling power? To turn to the friend who came with you and laugh?

I couldn't run, though. The FA saw to that years ago.

Instead, I stayed and talked to the doctor. Low blood pressure is causing the head problems. I need to start eating more salt. She did not seem too worried about why it happened.

So now I am eating salty foods and starting to feel better. I still want to run, though, but who doesn't?