Bailout is as much fun as a barrel of monkeys

President Obama said last week that the bank bailout was about as much fun as a root canal." I wonder how much fun a Matt bailout is?

On the plus side, I rarely give myself large bonuses, though I did just win an eBay auction for nine action figures. I also rarely cost the taxpayer anything.

I suppose I could always just ask my boss and co-worker for assessments of Matt bailouts because both took part separately in one today.

A friend mentioned she was going down to the cafeteria today so I said I'd wander down with her. Until I got down there, I didn't realize that the path out the cafeteria was probably not cleared of the snow. It wasn't.

I figured that as long as I stayed on the pavement, I'd be fine. I still think this is true, and am not quite sure how I managed to get off the path, just one wheel but enough.

I was stuck, but I kept trying to get out by going back and forth as much as possible. I stopped when I saw that I had left a divot in the dirt and covered my wheel with mud. I figured someone in the cafeteria would see me and come help me but no one did.

It was then that I called my co-worker. I couldn't hear him really but I did hear "sure" when I asked him for a push. I was playing with my phone wondering who to call next when he showed up. He said that he came down and looked out the cafeteria window and didn't see me, which explains the lack of help from there, so he went to the guard station and asked them if they saw me on one of their screens.

This raises a somewhat uncomfy question. Did the guard not notice the dude in the chair just not moving? Or did they notice and think, "Oh cool"? I am kidding. The guard staff is a nice group, quite good to me.

That was how he found me and easily helped me back on the track and I went right in.

I snatched a few newspapers from a recycling bin and put them under my wheel while I ate. That let the sopping wet mud drip off and what did not drip off at least dried a bit.

I then asked my boss if he had one of those plastic knives that come in utensil packs. He did and brought it over. He saw my gross wheel and I just said I was going to scrape most off.

He replied, I could probably wipe most of that off. And that is what he did.

After the bank bailout, banks made millions. After a Matt bailout, I am left feeling exhausted, embarrassed, grateful, touched by grace, you name it. I wouldn't mind a few bucks instead.